VSCode/Win10 - Cannot find runtime 'node' on PATH - node.js

Question

To reproduce:
Use my Windows 10 PC to open VSCode
Create a Hello World js file
Launch as node application from the VSCode Debugger view
Produces error: Cannot find runtime 'node' on PATH
Given:
My launch.json:
{
"version": "0.2.0",
"configurations": [
{
"name": "Build",
"type": "node",
"request": "launch",
"program": "${workspaceRoot}/build.js",
"stopOnEntry": false,
"args": [],
"cwd": "${workspaceRoot}",
"env": {
"NODE_ENV": "development"
},
"console": "internalConsole",
"sourceMaps": false
}
]
}
I have moved nodejs to within 2048 characters of my PATH variable.
I have restarted my computer.
I have restarted VSCode.
From both CMD and the Integrated Terminal (sysnative/cmd):
PATH contains D:/Program Files/nodejs
where node returns D:/Program Files/nodejs/node.exe
From the Google Developer Console:
process.env.PATH contains D:/Program Files/nodejs
Running the following code produces D:/Program Files/nodejs/node.exe:
(function(){
const cp = require('child_process');
const env = Object.assign({}, process.env, {
ATOM_SHELL_INTERNAL_RUN_AS_NODE: '1',
ELECTRON_NO_ATTACH_CONSOLE: '1'
});
const result = cp.spawnSync('where', ['node'], {
detached: true,
stdio: ['ignore', 'pipe', process.stderr],
env,
encoding: 'utf8'
});
console.log(result.stdout);
})();
Additional
Also .NET-Core applications behave identically - terminal and cmd works, dotnet is on the path, but Launch from VSCode debugger view fails to find CLI Tools on the path.
Attaching to an existing dotnet process produces a different error:
Please set up the launch configuration file for your application. command 'csharp.listProcess' not found
Not sure if related, but F12 for jumping to declaration is unresponsive.
Update
I've been doing some debugging, and it looks like the following code produces Command Failed: echo test:
require('child_process')
.execSync('echo test', {cwd: workspaceRoot, env: process.env});
Under the hood, it winds up calling
require('child_process')
.spawnSync('cmd', ['/s', '/c', '"echo test"'], {cwd: workspaceRoot, env: process.env});
The command it builds under the hood is C:\Windows\System32\cmd.exe /s /c "echo test" which I tested and does indeed print test.
The spawnSync call reveals that the exit code was 3221225477.
In fact, every time I use child_process to execute something via cmd, the exit code is 3221225477. I can get spawnSync to start other processes aside from cmd, though. This works:
require('child_process')
.spawnSync('node', ['build.js'], {cwd: workspaceRoot, env: process.env});