Module build failed: ReferenceError: [BABEL] Unknown option: /Users/Will/.babelrc.presets - node.js

Question

So I am totally baffled by this. My team is running on the same branch, same commit of code. I'm the only one having this issue. Here's the full stack trace:
Module build failed: ReferenceError: [BABEL] /Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/eslint-loader/index.js!/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/app/index.jsx: Unknown option: /Users/Will/.babelrc.presets
at Logger.error (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/file/logger.js:58:11)
at OptionManager.mergeOptions (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/file/options/option-manager.js:126:29)
at OptionManager.addConfig (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/file/options/option-manager.js:107:10)
at OptionManager.findConfigs (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/file/options/option-manager.js:168:35)
at OptionManager.init (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/file/options/option-manager.js:229:12)
at File.initOptions (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/file/index.js:147:75)
at new File (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/file/index.js:137:22)
at Pipeline.transform (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-core/lib/transformation/pipeline.js:164:16)
at transpile (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-loader/index.js:12:22)
at Object.module.exports (/Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/node_modules/babel-loader/index.js:69:12)
I've come across multiple answers that all relate to Babel 6 usage, which doesn't currently apply to me.
I've tried:
Uninstalling and reinstalling node and npm versions (via nvm)
Blowing away all the node modules, and reinstalling
npm cache clean
Blowing away repo, and re-cloning
For good measure, restarting my machine
Im running node v0.12.9 & npm v2.14.9
Here's my package.json
{
"version": "0.0.0",
"main": "app/index.js",
"private": true,
"scripts": {
"build": "CONFIG_ENV=dev Q_DEBUG=1 time ./node_modules/.bin/webpack --config conf/webpack.production.js",
"build:prod": "CONFIG_ENV=production time ./node_modules/.bin/webpack --config conf/webpack.production.js",
"build:stage": "CONFIG_ENV=stage time ./node_modules/.bin/webpack --config conf/webpack.production.js",
"deploy:codeship-getvisibl": "time firebase deploy --token $FIREBASETOKEN",
"deploy:codeship-stage": "time firebase deploy --token $FIREBASETOKEN --project firebase-visibl-stage",
"deploy:stage": "firebase use firebase-visibl-stage && firebase deploy",
"lint": "PATH=$PATH:/usr/local/bin time ./node_modules/eslint/bin/eslint.js --cache --format 'node_modules/eslint-friendly-formatter' --ext .js --ext .jsx --config .eslintrc app/",
"migrate": "babel-node --stage 1 migrate.js",
"start": "CONFIG_ENV=dev Q_DEBUG=1 ./node_modules/.bin/webpack-dev-server --config conf/webpack.config.js --hot --progress --inline --content-base ./build",
"start:prod": "CONFIG_ENV=production Q_DEBUG=1 ./node_modules/.bin/webpack-dev-server --config conf/webpack.config.js --hot --progress --inline --content-base ./build",
"debug": "CONFIG_ENV=dev Q_DEBUG=1 time ./node_modules/.bin/mocha debug --full-trace --colors --recursive app/mochaNodeSetup.js app",
"test": "CONFIG_ENV=dev Q_DEBUG=1 time ./node_modules/.bin/mocha --full-trace --colors --bail --recursive app/mochaNodeSetup.js app"
},
"dependencies": {
"#brandzooka/client": "*",
"#brandzooka/models": "*",
"autoprefixer-loader": "2.0.0",
"aws-sdk": "^2.3.7",
"babel-core": "5.8.38",
"babel-loader": "5.3.2",
"baconjs": "0.7.66",
"bluebird": "2.10.1",
"bootstrap-sass": "3.3.5",
"bootstrap-slider": "4.10.0",
"chai": "3.0.0",
"chai-immutable": "1.0.2",
"classnames": "2.1.2",
"clear-require": "^1.0.1",
"cls-bluebird": "^1.0.1",
"css-loader": "0.15.1",
"dom-scroll-into-view": "1.2.0",
"eslint": "1.4.3",
"eslint-friendly-formatter": "1.0.8",
"eslint-loader": "^1.0.0",
"eslint-plugin-mocha": "0.4.0",
"eslint-plugin-react": "3.4.1",
"exports-loader": "0.6.2",
"file-loader": "0.8.4",
"immutable": "3.7.4",
"immutable-form-validation": "1.0.4",
"imports-loader": "0.6.4",
"jquery": "2.1.4",
"jsdom": "2.0.0",
"json-loader": "0.5.2",
"lodash": "3.10.1",
"mocha": "2.2.5",
"moment": "2.10.3",
"node-libs-browser": "0.5.2",
"node-sass": "3.2.0",
"nomnom": "^1.8.1",
"null-loader": "0.1.1",
"phantomjs": "1.9.18",
"precommit-hook": "2.0.1",
"q": "1.4.1",
"query-string": "3.0.3",
"rc-form-validation": "2.4.12",
"react": "^0.14.0",
"react-addons-pure-render-mixin": "0.14.0",
"react-addons-test-utils": "0.14.0",
"react-bootstrap": "0.29.5",
"react-bootstrap-daterangepicker": "0.2.5",
"react-dom": "0.14.0",
"react-dropzone": "1.2.2",
"react-hot-loader": "1.2.7",
"react-moment-proptypes": "0.0.5",
"react-router": "0.13.5",
"react-slick": "0.12.2",
"readline2": "^1.0.1",
"reflux": "0.4.1",
"reflux-core": "0.3.0",
"reflux-promise": "1.0.4",
"sass-loader": "1.0.2",
"sha.js": "2.4.5",
"sinon": "1.15.4",
"sinon-chai": "2.8.0",
"sinon-react": "0.2.1",
"style-loader": "0.12.3",
"superagent": "1.2.0",
"superagent-promise": "1.0.0",
"url": "0.10.3",
"url-loader": "0.5.6",
"uuid": "2.0.2",
"valid-url": "1.0.9",
"whatwg-fetch": "0.9.0"
},
"devDependencies": {
"babel": "5.8.38",
"babel-eslint": "^6.0.0-beta.6",
"chai-spies": "^0.7.1",
"clean-webpack-plugin": "0.1.3",
"estraverse": "^4.2.0",
"extract-text-webpack-plugin": "0.8.2",
"firebase-token-generator": "^2.0.0",
"html-webpack-plugin": "1.5.2",
"pg": "^4.4.2",
"pg-parse-float": "0.0.1",
"webpack": "*",
"webpack-dev-server": "*"
}
}
Any hot ideas out there? 3 hours in, I can't even get the error message to change.

Answer 1

The config path /Users/Will/.babelrc.presets means you have a .babelrc file in /Users/Will/, and it has a "presets" key because it appears to be a config file for Babel 6.
Presumably you have a .babelrc at /Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/.babelrc to configure your Babel 5 install, but Babel 5 does not stop traversing upward looking for other configs unless you tell it to (Babel 6 stops at the first config), so it will also look farther up and error out on the Babel 6 config in your home directory.
This leaves you with a few options:
Delete /Users/Will/.babelrc, because Babel config files should live in the project they apply to, not in your home.
If that is a no-go, open (and maybe create) /Users/Will/Brandzooka/visibl-front_end/.babelrc and make sure it has the key "breakConfig": true to tell Babel 5 to stop looking in parent directories for other config files.